I find myself in a blue funk this holiday weekend, Thanksgiving 2011, and am trying to learn from it.
So far I have learned it does not help to chide myself with you are so much more fortunate than others lectures. What has helped however is simply allowing it to be- to accept it and listen carefully to myself as i try to analyze the whys and wherefores of this funk.
I know one thing is a simple money issue- never seems to be enough.
And the business issue- doesn't seem to be moving fast enough with the new programs as i wanted/expected
And family-I miss my girls and my grands like crazy- was hoping to have my youngest grand at least for the holiday week.
Feeling myself slip into this blue funk I tried to alleviate some typical stressors like missing the games the big plays while cooking- I did that by cooking on Wednesday instead of Thursday
I shopped early and frugally- thinking I was alleviating another stressor- although at some point i realized i really enjoy that camaraderie of holiday meal shopping- it is i feel like going out to harvest- the old fashioned way where neighbors helped neighbors get in the crops- i love it- and that in fact helped me get out of the funk a bit.
I was excited Maria would have one whole day without work- only to have it interrupted by her having to be online to deal with morons on her sports board- i truly do not get it- adults, supposed adults- so wound up in college sports games that they live and breath gossip and game info and practice info and who does what when and how and their analysis and criticisms and absolutely vile personal attacks- i truly do not get it so stay far far away from them and these odd message boards they have for sports- I am however ticked off when they interfere with what i thought was a strictly family day- a day for sleeping in, watching games, enjoying our leftover turkey.
I am very fortunate and kept telling myself that I have no right to be in a blue funk- especially as i consider the sadness some of my friends are facing....
I have one friend who is sitting vigil as her precious life partner dies- that's something to be in a blue funk about
I have another friend who is mourning the loss of her precious beloved fur partner as she gets ready for serious personal surgery herself- that's something to be in a blue funk about
I have another friend who is going through a vicious divorce and wondering how much damage this will do to her child when all is said and done- thats something to be in a blue funk about
Dog forgive me for being in a blue funk- especially when I have so much to be thankful for:
I am thankful my friends understand that some days even I get down
I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends who understand i abhor the commercialization of the holidays- and refuse to partake
I am grateful that my knees are healing and i will once again be mobile- some do not have that chance
I am eternally thankful I own my own business and have only myself to account to- well and of course my board members who try to keep me on task
I am very thankful to be alive....18 years ago that Thanksgiving was very nearly my last
I am thankful for readers who write me notes and encourage me to keep writing
I am thankful for my writing colleagues who never hesitate with a word of encouragement or to tell me something simply isnt working
I am thankful and it is OK to have an occasional blue funk time....after all it is all good fodder for writing
Blessings to All of you this Thanksgiving